I'M A HAPPY FRIEND

I’m tired of looking for the perfect theory for my study so I ended up visiting my facebook. While scrolling down my news feeds, I saw my childhood friend’s status that really touched me and made me happy for him. Yes. Masaya ako para sa kaniya dahil nagbago siya dahil sa girlfriend niya.

I knew my friend when we were I think 6 or 7 because our grandparents were really close friends and we lived in the same village. Walang nagtatagal na relasyon sa kaniya kasi maloko siya. Seriously! Ganun naman karamihan sa mga lalaki diba? Di nakakaiwas sa temptation kaya nasisira ang relasyon. Happily, nalaman ko na 6 months na sila ng girlfriend niya ngayon and natutuwa ako na ang laki talaga ng pagbabago nung friend ko. Sabi ko sa isip ko, “Sa wakas! Nakahanap siya ng katapat!” Kasi naging ex din niya yung kabarkada ko and hindi din sila nagtagal. Hopefully his relationship now will last. I’m happy for him. 

Natutuwa ako kasi nakikita ko yung sarili ko dun sa girl. As a girlfriend, I always remind. Hindi naman kasi para sa akin yung sinasabi ko eh, para rin naman sa boyfriend ko yun. Sadly, feeling ko balewala lang so okay fine. Hayaan. Buhay naman nila yun. But for my friend, bawat paalala ng girlfriend niya ginawa niyang habit. His girlfriend never asked him to change but he chose to make his life different because of that girl. Nakakatuwa. Natutuwa talaga ako para sa kaniya. 

“No one will ever be better than you because you are the best. There is only one <girlfriend’s name> in the universe, and I’m happy to have the brightest star in the sky in my life. Thank you for everything. I’m happy and proud enough to shout to the world that I love you.” -DP <my friend’s initials>

Ang sweet! Parang nauna pa kong kiligin kesa dun sa girlfriend niya. At parang ako yung sinabihan ng ganun. Lucky girl, she has my friend. And congratulations for a job well done! Sa lahat ng mga naging girlfriend nun, itong latest ang nakapagpatino sa kaniya. In fairness talaga. That’s what you call true love. Why?

When you love, you don’t ask or beg someone to change for you. You must be the inspiration for that someone to change. Mahirap kaya magbago. And when you really love that person, kahit anong mali sa kaniya tatanggapin mo. Like me and my friend’s girlfriend, puro paalala lang ang ginagawa namin. Choice nung lalaki kung susunod siya o hindi. If I’m the girlfriend, I’ll be proud not for myself but for the guy who changed because I cared. Yun lang. Kasi hindi naman sinabi nung girl na you have to be like this and like that eh. Parang ako. I don’t demand, I just remind.

Okay. Another post was made because I was inspired. Nakakakilig eh. About me? Kinikilig ako sa kanila dahil walang kakilig-kilig sa akin ngayon. Haha! Di na ko hihiling ng tamang lalaki para sa akin. My prayer is to be the right girl for the man God will give me. Yun lang. Sa tuwing hihiling kasi ako ng tamang lalaki, pag nandiyan na, sinasaktan naman ako. So I changed my prayer. Baka sakaling siya na talaga diba. Regardless the distance, age and anything.

I’m a girl full of love so I believe that I can give love easily - in God’s perfect time.

TWEETS TO PONDER

The routine I do when I wake up every morning is to search for my phone even though my eyes are still close and check for unread messages, e-mails, facebook notifications and twitter mentions. And then I’ll spend minutes reading tweets from those I follow and reply in tweets mentioning me. Kaya mas madaldal ako sa twitter eh. Hindi pa ba halata sa mahigit sampung libong tweets?! LOL.

This post concerns all my comments regarding some of the tweets I read from my timeline. Minsan kasi dun ako nakakakuha ng idea para makagawa ng magandang sulatin. Dun din ako na-iinspire at minsan natatamaan din ako sa mga nababasa ko. I’m really not a  negative person ever since eh. Lumaki ako ng laging pinapalitan ng positive things ang mga bagay kahit na hindi ko maitago sa sarili ko na nasasaktan at nalulungkot din ako.

Now, I’ll be posting some of the tweets in an open and close quote. My comments will be posted under each. Remember: everything I’ll say will be coming from my heart. None else. :)

“Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.”

Totoo naman diba? For me this is true. Bata pa ko tinuruan na ko maging appreciative ng mga magulang ko. At proud akong ipaalam sa mga tao na hanggang ngayon tangay ko yung pangaral sa akin. Marami kasing tao na hindi kuntento sa buhay. Alam ko na hindi lahat ng tao kaya maka-afford ng ganito o ganyan. Think of this: sa mga materyal na bagay lang ba magiging masaya? Nah-uh! Ako kasi Kahit sa maliit na bagay o pangyayari, pinagpapasalamat ko. Kahit hindi magandang pangyayari pinagpapasalamat ko pa din. Practice being thankful of what you have now and what you are today and you’ll be happy. Kasi kung hindi ka grateful, hindi ka talaga magiging masaya. Appreciate everything in your reach! You are blessed! :)

“Pag nasasaktan ang mga babae, pareparehas na ang tingin nila sa mga lalake.”

Sorry to say pero natamaan ako dito. Setting my gender aside, parang ang hirap kasi maniwala pag may nasira na eh. Anong hidden subject diyan? Tiwala diba? Yun at yun lang naman eh. Dun lang naman umiikot yun. Nagmahal ka, naniwala, umintindi at nagtiwala. Kaya ka nasaktan kasi ginawa mo kung anong nararapat. Hindi ka lang pinahalagahan. Kaya lang naman nagagawa namin mag-generalize ng mga kalalakihan kasi paulit-ulit naming nararanasan. Need I say more? Ladies, are you satisfied with my comment? Gentlemen, NOW YOU KNOW! 

“Lahat ng bagay nawawala. Lalo na ang feelings kung laging nababalewala.”

This one is somewhat related to the unfinished story I heard from the radio. And this one is surely related to those who fell in love - like me. Totoo naman ito eh. Lalo na sa mga tulad kong kailanman ay hindi nagloko. Uso ang salitang “nakakapagod”. Mahirap bang tanggapin ang katotohanan? Masakit diba. Just take this as a lesson. 

“Ako? Marunong kasi ako magpahalaga ng taong mahal ko.” 

Always. Lahat ng taong naging parte ng buhay ko ay minahal ko at patuloy kong mamahalin. Siyempre yung mga naging “special” sa buhay ko. Sila talaga yung minamahal ko. Lahat naman tayo siguro ganun. We give importance to the people we love. Ako kasi when I love, I embrace everything. I take the risks. Kaya pag nasaktan ako ibang klase din. Oh basta yun!

“You’re telling me things I want to hear, but you’re not showing me the things I want to see.”

Contradicting, right? Nangyayari naman talaga yan eh. Magaling sa salita, kulang sa gawa. Ilang beses ko na rin naranasan yan. Kaya please, wag niyo kong sisihin kung naging manhid ako at hindi ko pinaniniwalaan ang mga sinasabi niyo. It’s just that… hmmmyeah. I don’t demand but I know what’s lacking. I don’t complaint because I understand. But sometimes my routine makes me tired. Dapat na ba baguhin? Naah! Para ko na rin sinabing baguhin ko kung pano ko magmahal. Hell no! I’ll be happy having someone who appreciates me and will love me because of who and what I am.

“I told you what hurts me the most. and you did it perfectly!”

BOOM! Napa-smile ako nung nabasa ko yan eh. Parang ganito lang yan eh, I told my plans in life, you made me believe that you’ll be with me but you left me. Next time di na lang ako magsasabi. Kasi nagiging way pala yung pagiging open ko para ibato pabalik sa akin at pagmukhain akong tanga. 

“Don’t let her fall if you’re not willing to catch.”

Oo nga. Pwede ba. Wag nga kayong ganyan. Oo kayo lang! Kasi hindi ako ganyan. Kasi when someone’s falling for me but I really can’t entertain because I’m falling for someone else, nagsasabi talaga ako ng totoo dun sa tao. Ayoko kasi paasahin yung tao. Madali ako makunsensya! At ayokong ayoko yung nakakasakit ako kaya kahit alam kong masasaktan siya, aaminin ko na lang kung anong tunay kong nararamdaman kesa naman sa maghintay at umasa siya diba? Get me? Anyway. Don’t let someone fall if you’re not willing to catch. Kung sinalo mo man, salamat. Pero sana di mo bitawan diba? Nakakagago lang eh. Sasaluhin tapos bibitiwan. Ano kami bola? Oo na. Mukha na kong bola. HAHAHA! Pero wala kayong karapatan para gawin sakin yan. 

“Kung mahal mo ko, bakit mo ko iiwan?”

Grabe. Oo nga naman. Kung mahal mo bat mo iiwan? BAKIT NIYO KO INIWAN? Related much?! Pero kasi totoo naman eh. Ang galing magsabi pero hindi ginagawa. Pero dahil nga sa positive ako mag-isip, ganito ang perception ko diyan. Breaking up doesn’t mean leaving you in a snap. Pwedeng tapos na ang relasyon niyo pero nananatili kayong magkaibigan. That’s important. Masasabi mo lang yan pag talagang after break up, wala nang usapan. Congratulations! Pareho kayong bitter. LOL. HAHAHAHA!

“Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before.”

Yan ay kung desidido ang tao para sa pagbabago. Nagawa ko na yan kaya malakas ang loob kong mag comment. Hindi ako perpekto. Nagkamali at nagkakamali pa din ako. Pero ang pagkakamaling ginawa ko na noon ay hindi ko na dapat ulitin pa. Bukod sa nagsasayang lang ako ng oras, ginagawa ko lang tanga ang sarili ko. I just want my life to be happy. Mistakes will always be present but repeating it is what you call stupidity. Mahirap magbago pero kakayanin kung talagang gusto mo. Pag gusto maraming paraan. :)

“Sa oras na sinabihan mo ang isang tao ng, “MAHAL KITA.” OBLIGASYION mong panindigan at patunayan yun.”

Mean what you say and prove your statement. Kaya wag sasama ang loob pag may nagtatampo sa inyo. Wag din kayo magagalit pag hindi na naniniwala sa inyo. Be true to your words. Wag mo na lang sabihin kung hindi mo rin kayang ipakita. Ganun lang yun. Wag pumasok sa relasyon kung hindi kayang isabay sa trabaho, pag-aaral o kahit ano. Masarap ipaalam sa tao na mahal mo siya at masarap marinig kung malalaman mong mahal ka rin niya. Be fair enough! Kung nagagawa nung isa ipakita yung pagmamahal niya sayo, gumawa ka din ng paraan para ipakita sa kaniyang totoo ang nararamdaman mo. Kalimutan mo na muna pride mo. Walang magandang maidudulot yan. Kung lalaki ka, nasa iyo dapat ang initiative. Kung ikaw ang babae, just do your part. Obligasyon niyong pareho patunayan sa isa’t isa na nagmamahalan kayo. :)

Nakaka-relate ka rin ba? Lahat tayo ay may kanya-kanyang opinyon at pananaw sa bawat pangyayari at kasabihan. May sarili rin tayong isip kung pano natin ito gagamitin para gabayan tayo sa mga desisyong ating gagawin. Masarap pala ang ganito. May bago na namang akong obligasyon para sa inyo… Yun ay ang i-share sa inyo ang mga nababasa ko at ang komento ko.

Next time ulit! :)

CHANCE

How will you define chance? For me, it’s similar to an opportunity and/or a possibility. Why is chance given to people? And why is it asked? Why do some people just take it for granted? Is chance just a chance? How much do we give importance to it? Who deserves it?

Ang daming tanong ‘no? Siguro hindi sapat yang mga tanong na yan para maipaliwanag mabuti kung ano ba talaga ang chance. Ako lang siguro nagtatanong niyan. Nadala lang siguro ako sa nagtanong sa’kin kaya na-inspire ako magpost dito about this topic. Susubukan kong sagutin lahat ng tanong na nandiyan. As what I always say, everything I post here are purely my own perception and opinion. 

Bakit ba tayo humihingi ng pagkakataon at bakit tayo humihingi nito? Ako, nagbibigay ako ng pagkakataon sa lahat. I give chances to people who I gave importance and who are special to me. Sino ba yan? Friends, relatives, special relationships and others. Lahat yan kaya kong bigyan ng chance. Why? All of us are not perfect. Kahit gano pa kasama ang isang tao, s/he deserves another chance. Only change is constant here. Lahat ng tao pwedeng magbago. Hindi nga lang lahat mahaba ang pasensya para magbigay ng isa pang pagkakataon. 

People ask chance to prove themselves wrong. Ang mga taong humihingi ng pagkakataon ay ang mga nagsisi, tinanggap at umamin sa kanilang mga pagkakamali. Yan ang mga totoong tao. Hindi yung hihingi ng chance tapos babalewalain lang. I’ve encountered those kinds of people. Bibigyan ko ng chance pero hindi naman nila mapatunayan na deserving sila. But you know, honestly speaking, hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko kung bakit kahit ilang beses akong saktan ng mga tao, patuloy pa rin akong nagbibigay ng chance. I really don’t know. And I don’t hate myself for doing that. Nagiging masaya ako pag nagbibigay ako ng chance. Ang iniisip ko kasi, ako rin naman nagkakamali. And I ask for another chance too. Apply lang ng golden rule - “Do unto others what you want others to do unto you or Do not do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.” Simple as that. 

Hindi naman kailangan bilangin ang dami ng pagkakataong binigay mo. Wag mong isumbat yung kabaitang ginawa mo. Though at times you really feel bad about having someone who just taken you for granted. Hayaan niyo sila. Humingi man ng chance o hindi, tanggapin mo pa din. Hindi ka naman perfect para magtapon ng pinagsamahan at hindi lang siya ang nagkakamali. Aminin natin na nagkakamali tayo. Wag ma-pride kung lalong wala na sa lugar. Learn to accept things.

Para sa mga hingi ng hingi ng chance, mahiya naman kayo. Wag kang hihingi kung di mo kayang patunayan. Wag abusuhin ang pagkakataong binibigay sa inyo. Hindi niyo alam, baka dumating ang araw na wala ng maniwala sa inyo.

Give chances. You’ll be happy.

GOODNESS VS. STUPIDITY

I was once affected by what our priest said during his homily - the difference between being good and being stupid. Kabutihan o katangahan, alin sa dalawa ang ginagawa mo?

Bigla ko lang naisip lahat ng ginagawa ko sa mga kaibigan ko o sa mga tao sa paligid ko. Sabi nga nila, “it’s better to do good things than to be nice”. Bakit kaya? What’s the reason behind that saying? Well of course I have my own interpretation. Iba-iba naman tayo ng opinyon eh. Anyways… 

Kaya ko naisip yang title ko kasi minsan dumarating ako sa point na iniisip ko kung tama ba pa yung mga kinikilos ko. Hindi ko alam kung mabuti yun o sadyang nagpapaka tanga na lang ako. Yeah. Here I go again. I’m so hard to understand every time I write certain topics without stating examples or anything. May ugali kasi ako na tumulong ng tumulong. Like I put others above me. Yun bang when someone needs me, basta may oras ako go agad ako. I’ll help. I’ll do everything and exert effort to help that person. Ewan ko ba. Nabubulag na lang ako pag tumutulong ako. I mean, may mga nagsasabi kasi sakin na inaabuso na ko or whatever. Pero kasi parang hindi ko matiis. Kahit na minsan paulit-ulit na at kinaiinis ko na, still I care. I share what I have and offer help. 

And then stupidity enters. Yeah. Yun na ata ang tinatawag na katangahan. Yun bang ilang beses ka na nasasaktan dahil sa kabutihan pero sige pa rin. Sakit ko na to noon pa. Ano bang gamot sa katangahan? Hahaha! Wala naman diba? Pero kasi hindi ko iniisip na katangahan ko yun eh. It’s merely about me giving a hand. I help without asking anything in return. Basta nakatulong ako or nakapagbigay ako, masaya na ko dun. And that happiness I feel covers all negative meanings behind. Inuuto or niloloko na pala ko, hindi ko man lang alam. Malalaman ko na lang pag may nagsabi sakin na I have to stop. 

Am I good or am I stupid?

NAPAPAGOD DIN NAMAN AKO

It’s hard trying to make yourself happy when you have a lot of problems to face and when you’re hurting inside. It’s tiring when you keep on doing good things to people who just take you for granted. It’s painful hiding my real emotions for the sake of other people’s happiness. All these are currently happening to me. I’m in the state of knowing myself more, discovering what I can do and strengthening my faith and stand onto the things I believe in. 

What is happening to me? I don’t want to break down. No. I’m controlling this. I have to control myself from bursting. I don’t know if I’ll cry, where I want to go, who I want to be with and how I’ll manage myself from being hurt over and over again. I know this is part of everyone’s life and I understand why certain things happen, but can I just take a break?

I’m tired of thinking about why hurtful things happen to me. I don’t know why I experience those. Napapagod na ko. Pagod na pagod na ko! Minsan gusto ko nang sumuko. Minsan gusto ko na lang maglaho para takasan lahat ng sakit na binibigay sakin ng mga taong pinahalagahan ko. Pinipilit kong intindihin lahat kahit sampal na sa mukha ko na wala na kong magagawa dahil nangyari na. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kung sino pa yung mga pinagkakatiwalaan ko, sila pa yung sisira ng lahat. I’m trying not to involve others because of a person’s mistake. Ayoko mandamay ng iba. I don’t want to generalize people. Everyone is different, I KNOW! The thing is, why do some people leave me? And when they do, I feel like I did something wrong or anything. Confusions follow when they return and I don’t have any idea what the hell went wrong. 

Mahirap manghula. Lagi ko yan sinasabi sa mga kaibigan ko o sa mga taong malapit sa akin. I want everyone to be straightforward especially to me. I don’t care kung masaktan niyo ko basta sabihin niyo sakin kung anong laman ng isip niyo. If it’s about my negative traits, COMMENTS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED. Mas gugustuhin ko pang makarinig ng mga bagay na mali tungkol sakin kesa sa paulit-ulit na compliments. Compliments will always be there. Pero yung mga mali ko, gusto ko malaman para mabago ko. Ganun yun. I don’t want to remain like this. Nahihirapan ako, sobra.

I hate it when I’m given false hopes. Hindi kasi ako naging ganun eh. I’m true to my words. I keep my promises. Kung may mga panahon na minsan hindi ko kaagad natutupad yung pangako ko, I have reasons behind. But that doesn’t mean I’m running away from it. It’s just that may mga bagay ay hindi inaagad-agad. I don’t rush things. Please wait because I’m burning my time thinking if my actions would be favorable for all of us. Trust me, I do things according to what I say - or even more. If you’re concerned and don’t want me to get hurt, please don’t say anything that I’ll hold on to. Wag mo kong paaasahin sa wala. Please lang. Hindi porket nakikipag biruan ako o nakikipagtawanan ay pwede mo kong saktan ng ganun-ganun na lang. 

I’m thinking why fate leads me to this. Minsan tuloy feeling ko yung tadhana na mismo ang nagiging ‘paasa’. I don’t want to be tired of being optimistic. Ayoko talaga. It’s just that things happen beyond my control. Pessimism takes place. Minsan kahit gaano pa ko ka-positive para lang umiwas sa kalungkutan, hindi kinakaya. Para bang na-prove na yung isang bagay para lalo ako mawalan ng pag-asa. But giving up is not in my vocabulary. I never quit. But this time, I feel like quitting. 

Masakit lang talaga ang pag mukhain kang tanga. Paniniwalain ka sa mga kasinungalingan. Hindi mo alam kung anong ginawa mo para gawin sayo yung mga ganung bagay. Hindi ko alam kung kanino ako maaawa eh. Kung sa akin dahil nagkaroon sila ng pagkakataon para lokohin ako o sa mga taong patuloy na gumagawa sa akin nun o sa mga taong masyadong masaya sa mga buhay nila pag nakikita nila kong nasasaktan. Ano ba ako?

I know this is another drama. THE HELL I CARE! Wag niyong basahin kung ayaw niyo. It’s just that nalulungkot at naiinis ako sa mga sunod-sunod na nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon. Nandiyan yung iiwan ako tas babalik. Meron ding nagsabi na nandiyan lang siya pero iiwan din pala ko. Talaga nga naman. Masakit, nakakalungkot, at nakakainis pero wala akong magawa. 

I know I can’t have everything in life. All I ask for is to have somebody who’ll stay true to me. 

BONDING WITH YOURSELF

Go to a place where you can relax. A place where you feel safe and at peace. Leave all things that might distract you. Just bring your favorite pen, journal/paper/notebook, and plainly your heart, mind and soul. It's time for you to be alone.

Some people think that being alone is being sad, lonely and emotional. Well, not all people think the same way around. For me, being alone is a perfect time to think, meditate, do whatever you want, assess your thoughts and feelings, and all. Yes, sometimes being alone makes you sad but it depends upon your own situation. Being alone is your time to know God and feel His presence. That's your time to strengthen your relationship with Him.


Relax. 
Take a deep breath. 
Think of unresolved issues in your life. 
Think of unclear situations. 
Think of the people who had hurt you. 
Think of the people you value the most. 
Think of everything you may want to clarify. 
You may also think of unanswered questions. 


Write it down and assess. 

Blogging: Another Way of Positive Coping

There are a lot of things you can do to manage your problems and concerns which affects you mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Different situations - good or bad - may pester our mind and we usually think of something to run away from those things. What if we can’t run away? What if we’re stocked? The feeling that you’re inside a box with yourself and your thoughts about how you can get out. Most of us just sit there, think about things ourselves and never let anyone know about our concerns. Some tend not to share it to their friends because of some reasons. But for me, there are lots of coping strategies we can use in order for us to face all our problems with a positive outcome. 

A problem won’t be fixed if you’ll gonna run away from it. The best way to solve your problem is to face it. I know how hard it is but it takes will and courage for you to do it. I know and some of my friends know how laid back am I in some things. But when it comes to problems, before I decide, I talk to God. He’s number one. Don’t ever forget that only God can make impossible things possible. Besides, God will not give us problems if we’re not able to solve it. All of us are given problems. And all of us have choices of how we can get through it. 

Aside from praying, I do lots of other activities in order for me to remain positive in spite of all the troubles I’m facing. Malls are everywhere. I ask some of my friends to spend time with me for a little talk, eat together, movie marathon and many others. But when I feel that I want to be alone, blog takes place.

I’ve been blogging for I think 3 years now. And this is very much helpful in releasing my stress, emotions and problems. In fact, sometimes my posts inspire other people without me being aware of it. I remember a friend of mine who asked me why I handle my life easily. I told him that I express everything in creating my own music and I let it out in a form of writing. Two things for me: (1) song-writing and (2) writing. Aside from my blog, I also have my journal. I don’t put everything in my blog sites but I have my journal notebook where I put everything. And sometimes, that’s my way of talking to God. I put all my concerns there and all.

While browsing my blogspot account, I was surprised that my friend was still updating his blog account. And I was the one who told him to create a blog for him to release his anger, sadness, and all other emotions he possess so that it would help him relieve it. I’m glad that he followed it up until now. One of my bestfriends is in trouble since I knew her. Her problems are hard to solve for me but I always tell her that God won’t give her that problem if she can’t face it. Then I told her to do the same - to create a blog or to have a journal. There, she had her journal and jot down notes about anger, hatred and everything else. 

It is helpful, really! Why not try it and stay away from negative coping activities like drowning yourself in alcohol and suffocating yourself from cigarette smoking. Well, that’s not coping. That’s what you call running away from your problems. Alcohol and cigarette won’t help you. Why not try expressing yourself through writing. Formal or not, creative or not, it’s all up to you. You drive your own life, don’t mind other people who are against your positive coping skills.

I hope this one will help you.

Good day! :)